Snowden Releases Confidential Information on His Whereabouts


HONG KONG – American tittle-tattler and turncoat-in-hiding Edward Snowden released confidential information on his own whereabouts to the espionage and secret information website WikiLeaks.

In a video posted by Snowden on the WikiLeaks web page, the 29 year old American-on-the-run claimed that his whereabouts is critical information, and that the public has a right to know this information. “I am an individual charged with the serious offence of snitching on the American government,” confirmed Snowden. “That makes me a person of national interest. It is my duty as a citizen of the United States, as well as a member of the human race to make my whereabouts known to the general populace.”

Snowden’s meteoric rise to infamy came as a result of the magnificent treachery perpetrated on his former employer, the government of the United States of America. The celebrated villain released sensitive information about America’s extensive program to spy on its own citizens.

The renowned American mole pensively explained the inspiration for blowing his own whistle. “As tattletales, we are not merely resisting governments the world over, we are fighting broad-spectrum injustice,” he concluded. “By concealing the vicinity of my hideout I am impeding proper justice. I am, in fact, not acting in the best interest of the public.”

English: Julian Assange, photo ("sunny co...

Julian Assange

During an interview with The Guardian’s Glen Greenwald, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange explicated the importance of Snowden’s self-perfidiousness. “The purpose of WikiLeaks is to communicate sensitive information that’s in the public interest, information that some might wish to remain hidden,” said the Australian conspirator. “Knowledge about the location where Snowden is hiding certainly fits the bill. He may want his whereabouts to remain secret, but the world needs to know where he is. We should applaud Snowden’s effort to make such delicate information about himself available.”

The American snitch revealed that his physical position is set to change, but he confirmed that he will keep the planet posted on any future changes in location. “I won’t let you know where I’m going before I go, but I will let you know where I went after I’d gone,” declared Snowden. “My plans are not the issue here. My actions are, and I will release sensitive information on everything I do after I did it, because people need to know what I’ve done.”

At present the information on Edward Snowden’s whereabouts is still unverified. More details will be made available as soon as the legitimacy of his allegations can be confirmed. BN


Angry Bird Hiawatha - Foreign Correspondent

Angry Bird Hiawatha – Foreign Correspondent

Angry Bird has been to the end of the earth. He has been to the end of the water. He has been to the end of the sky. He has been to the end of the mountains. He has found none that are not his friends.


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