Boeremag Member Grateful for RDP House

Low Cost HousingDANVILLE – Boeremag member Japie Greyvensteyn expressed his sincere appreciation towards President Jacob Zuma for the RDP house he received. Zuma handed keys to the new government-built houses over to him and several other residents of Danville, a low-income, multiracial neighbourhood of Pretoria West, as part of his 67 minutes of charity work to celebrate Mandela Day.

President Zuma took Mr. Greyvensteyn on a delightful tour through his brand-spanking new home. “Zuma pointed out that the living room is quite spacious,” he said. “I thought it would be perfect for secret meetings to plot the demise of the ANC government, but I just pointed out to him where the television’s going to go.”

The security guard at a shopping mall in Wonderboom found Zuma to be quite a charming fellow and thoroughly enjoyed the visit. “The president even suggested that he might come over for a cup of boeretroos one day,” laughed Greyvensteyn. “He should call ahead so that the kommandos could be paraat.”

The part of the building Greyvensteyn is most overjoyed about is the garage. According to him, the walls are nice and thick and should be able to contain most of an explosion. “We can build our regime changing bombs in there,” explained the Boeremag kommando. “If anything goes wrong, the blast shouldn’t be able to injure the children playing outside on the freshly government-planted grass in our new back garden.”

Technological features of the house did not escape Greyvensteyn. He took particular interest in the spic and span bathroom, which came with a pre-installed solar heating system. “If we break that down we could use the components to build an explosive device,” schemed the dissenter. “The geyser will make a nice bomb shell. Going without hot water is a small price to pay in the struggle for supremacy.”

The solid concrete floors are also a nice addition. “The last time I tried to mix an explosive concoction I burnt a hole in the makeshift floor of my little wooden Wendy house,” remembered Greyvensteyn. “Thankfully the government built us a house that should be able to withstand the wear and tear of our anti-government insurgency.”

Mandela DayNot even a personal visit from the president could change the mind of this enemy of the state. “It was a nice gesture,” he said while wiping away a stray tear. “My life, the lives of my family and the lives of my black and white neighbours will improve drastically. I thank the Lord and President Zuma for that. Still, the mutiny must continue. I don’t have a choice. Opposition to black rule is in my blood.”

According to the conspirator, Zuma was very convincing and he almost believed that the president cared about the plight of less fortunate white people. “When he gives houses to impoverished blacks, he does not do so as a publicity stunt,” he maintained. “He does it because he cares about them. When he gives houses to poor whites, it’s really just for the publicity.”

For now, however, the streets of Danville are filled with happiness as residents rejoice in receiving their new homes. “I want to thank Zuma from the bottom of my heart. This is a great step forward for the movement to restore white rule. Maybe Zuma is missing his days as a freedom fighter.” BN

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Manie Vokkens – Current Affairs

Manie Vokkens – Current Affairs

Manie enjoyed the privilege of Apartheid rule and never bothered to get a proper education. The regime change left him unskilled, unemployed and broke, so he settled for being a reporter. Now he’s only unskilled and broke.

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One response to “Boeremag Member Grateful for RDP House

  1. I would like to know when are they giving rdp houses because I’m still waiting for one and they gave all the rdp’s in danville by the shopping centre at ok only to black people so I would like to ask and know why are they being favoured more than white people because we also need housing we live in a tent in a friends house

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