PRETORIA – Popular Afrikaans singer Kurt Darren will get an electronic hip after being involved in a car accident. This new hip will allow him to improve on the trademarked Kurt Darren Hipshake™ that made him famous. “My new hip will have artificial intelligence, allowing for enhanced anticipation of movement,” the singer revealed.
Having returned to the stage recently – wearing an eye-patch to cover his still recovering eye – Darren found that the Hipshake™ was not up to the usual standard and consulted with his doctors. “People don’t come to my show to hear me sing, they come to see me shake my hips. I need to do what I can to give my fans what they want.”
According to Darren, he discovered the Hipshake™ purely by accident. “Sometimes even I was surprised when my hip suddenly shook, but the fans loved it. It made me famous so I never complained,” laughed Darren.
Incidentally, it was another accident that will lead to the new, improved Hipshake™. “Well, my hips always had a mind of its own. Now it will have a better mind of its own.”
The singer, known for the throwaway pop hits Kaptein, Loslappie and Meisie Meisie, was involved in a car crash on his way home from a rugby match at Loftus Versveld in Pretoria. The Toyota Fortuner in which he was travelling rolled after swerving to avoid a head-on collision with an oncoming car. “One minute I was at a rugby game, the next I felt like I played a rugby game,” laughed Darren.
It has been verified that the accident did not happen because he celebrated the Bulls victory too much, nor was it a deliberate attempt on his life by liberal Afrikaners who hate what they refer to as “his trashy dance music”.
Darren is very optimistic about what the future could hold in store for a newer, better Kurt Darren. “I think when I’m fully recovered and recording a new album, I should probably use more electronic effects on my voice. If I’m gonna be half robot I might as well sound more robot.”
However, it’s the possibilities of live shows that get him really excited. “I can’t wait to get back onto a stage all new and improved. I’m looking forward to being hipper than ever.” BN
Saartjie wanted to be a pop singer but she couldn’t sing. Instead she started following pop singers around. She started writing to avoid getting arrested.