Vote ANC or the Booers Will Control Us

cyril-ramaphosa-1The booers are trying to impede the ANC’s right to rule. A vote for the ANC is a vote against the booers.

SESHEGO – ANC deputy president Cyril Ramaphosa told people in the Limpopo province to vote or else the “booers” will come into power, according to recent reports. Ramaphosa was speaking at an ANC rally in Seshego earlier this week to drum up support for his beleaguered party.

“If all South Africans don’t vote, the booers will come to control us,” he said.

The ANC has come under fire recently for various scandals involving its top leaders, and as a result the number of booers in its ranks has increased exponentially, eventually leading to the booing of President Jacob Zuma whenever his face appears.

Allies of Zuma maintain that the booers are being unreasonable. “These booers are booing the president because he built a house for himself,” remarked Bheki Cele. “They demand houses for themselves, but then they boo him when he builds one for himself.”

According to an ANC insider, the booers are trying to impede the ANC’s right to rule. “The ANC is mandated by God to rule until He returns,” he said. “The booers are opposing the will of God and must be stopped. A boo at Zuma is a boo at God.”

ANC supporters are still convinced that party membership is the only ticket to be rewarded in the afterlife. “There is no place for the booers in heaven,” declared long time member Jakes Mlanga.

Over the weekend ANC leader Jacob Zuma was heard singing the struggle song “Shoot the Booer”. Members of the anti-Zuma faction of the ANC branded it as tantamount to hate speech. “We can’t have someone inciting violence against his political opponents,” noted Tiko Lesedi, spokesman for the booers. “It is not good for my constitution.”

Presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj issued a statement claiming that the song was taken out of context. “When he [Zuma] sings “Shoot the Booer” he doesn’t mean with mshini wami [a machine gun], he wants us to metaphorically shoot them down, to bring them to their knees,” he said.

The anti-Zuma faction is adamant that using violent language is dangerous and irresponsible. “Zuma supporters never understand what he’s saying,” asserted Lesedi. “How can we be sure that they know that what he’s saying now is in fact meant metaphorically, and not just phorically?

The Freedom Front Plus was outraged at Ramaphosa’s remarks. “Apart from the fact that such a statement is not based on any real facts, it’s also very confusing,” FFPlus leader Pieter Mulder contended. “It sounds a lot like he’s talking about the Boers.”

Zuma loyalists are confident that South Africa will not become a nation ruled by booers. They insist that, “A vote for the ANC is a vote against the booers.” BN


Manie Vokkens – Current Affairs

Manie Vokkens – Current Affairs

Manie enjoyed the privilege of Apartheid rule and never bothered to get a proper education. The regime change left him unskilled, unemployed and broke, so he settled for being a reporter. Now he’s only unskilled and broke.




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