New Zulu Bible to Have 8 Commandments

isiZulu-BibleMARIANHILL – President Jacob Zuma has donated R500 000 for the translation of the Bible into isiZulu through his Jacob Zuma Foundation. “The Bible needs to be updated and incorrect translations need to be fixed,” Zuma said in a statement.

Among these errors is the incorrect representation that there are ten Commandments contained in the Book of Exodus. The new Bible in isiZulu will feature only eight.

The two Commandments that won’t feature in the new Jacob Zuma Zulu Bible are “Thou shalt not steal” and “Thou shalt not commit adultery”.

Some critics have accused Zuma that he’s reshuffling the bible like it’s the cabinet, but he [Zuma] remains unrepentant. “The Bible is a holy book. That is why believers should get the gist of it as it is, and it needs to be translated properly,” Zuma continued.

The new Jacob Zuma Zulu Bible will reportedly also update certain verses in Leviticus. These new verses will contain the correct procedure to follow when one has to take a shower to wash off Aids after having had unprotected sex.

To compliment the poetry of David, The Book of Solomon will now also feature the love poems sent to the daughter of a friend and football team boss before she got pregnant.

Certain phrases in the Bible will be updated to feature more relevant terminology. For instance, the “Lake of Fire” in the Book of Revelation shall now be referred to as the “Fire Pool”.

At time of print it was still unclear if the new Jacob Zuma Zulu Bible will contain any verses codifying God’s decree that the ANC must rule until Jesus comes back. BN


Miriam Mokoena

Miriam Mokoena

Miriam defied her tribal elders and got an education. She then defied her tribal elders and became a journalist. Now she defies her tribal elders by reporting on her tribal elders.



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6 responses to “New Zulu Bible to Have 8 Commandments

  1. You should learn from the so called great man. Never mess with our Mighty God. Let’s see if youll have a generation. ..


  2. It is written;

    “Heaven and earth may change, but my Word will never change….”
    #just who do you think you are to mess with the word of my Father??
    you should be ashamed…
    I wonder the mermaids in your pull


  3. J.G Zuma is now thinking like an untichrist. The bible won’t change if there was an error God would speak and say that it should be changed. Who is he to contradict with God Almignty word? We have eyes and we do read the bible. If he say those two should be removed that means he promote crime and sex without marriege. That is HELL.


  4. Eish,now i admit discovering covering up news und views about the truths of the lies that lies in south african spoiliticals. Eish..ooooo…eh eh,nee wat ,aikona….hahahaghieghielol


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