“Gut the Gays” and Other New Nigerian Laws

Nigerian GaysNigeria, that giant town in Africa, declared its disdain for any form or likeness of homosexuality.

Under the new Nigerian law, it is illegal to engage in an intimate relationship with a member of the same sex and to attend, or organize, or operate a meeting of gays and gay organizations, including private clubs. How in heaven’s name will some of the same politicians who passed this bill survive it?

“This is a law that is in line with the people’s cultural and religious inclination. So it is a law that is a reflection of the beliefs and orientation of Nigerian people… Nigerians are pleased with it.”  – Reuben Abati ,PhD, spokesperson for the president.

Who am I to question the authority of a whole PhD that is the mouthpiece of the country? What is not being announced though is that there are several other legislative bills in line with the people’s cultural and religious inclination that are awaiting the president’s signature. Sources in the presidency indicate that following the success of this “Gut the Gays” law, we should be expecting some of these laws to come through in coming weeks.

Following is a sneak preview of some of the bills awaiting Goodluck Jonathan’s signature:

1. A law criminalizing the current Central Bank Governor, Lamido Sanusi, and anybody found sympathizing with him in words or thoughts. The Federal Government of Nigeria (FGN) has decided that Mr. Sanusi’s latest actions including blowing the whistle on the unexplained disappearance of over $10 billion from the federal coffer goes against the people’s cultural inclination towards corruption and non-transparency.

2. A law banning any female who is neither related in any form nor having some sexual affair with government officials from running for any political office, being appointed to a federal position or awarded any government contract as this goes against the people’s cultural inclination towards nepotism and non-recognition of women for their skills and talents.

3. A law criminalizing any form of open or public letters to the president by ex-presidents and their sycophants. Once this law is passed, only sycophants of the president can issue open letters to the president. Ex-presidents and prominent statespeople speaking openly against the president goes against the people’s cultural and religious non-accountability inclination.

4. A law criminalizing any form of actual performance by state governors especially when they give the impression of performing better than the federal government. Such action is unbecoming of elected officials and goes against the people’s cultural and religious inclination toward non-deliverance of public goods and governance.

5. And finally, a law legalizing (yes, a positive law at last) the forced or purchased wedding of the rich and powerful to underage girls in and outside the country. Such unions, unlike the morally repulsive homosexual ones, will be recognized in the country even if not sanctioned in country of origin. This behaviour apparently will be a reflection of the beliefs and orientation of Nigerian people and the Nigerian people will be happy with it.

***

Africa is a CountryEdited version of an article that first appeared in Africa is a Country. Read full article here.

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