Agang Leader Arrested for Attempted Merger

Dr Ramphele makes herself at home.

Dr Ramphele makes herself at home.

CAPE TOWN – The National Prosecution Agency (NPA) arrested Agang-SA leader and brief DA presidential candidate Dr Mamphela Ramphele on charges ranging from attempted merger to conspiracy to commit merger.

The DA was trapped in a near-merger with Agang-SA for five days before it managed to escape. “I’m just so glad it’s over,” sighed DA leader Helen Zille. “We really should learn to be more careful.”

“It’s weird how it’s often the aunt or uncle or close friend of the family that turns out to be the bad guy,” Zille continued. Ramphele has been a friend of the Zille family for nearly 40 years.

The NPA is confident that it could build a strong case against Dr Ramphele. “We regard attempted merger as serious as merger itself,” insisted Investigative Officer Sipho Tshabalala.

According to the NPA, lack of a party policy outline is a possible motive for the attempted merger. Rumours that Agang-SA is completely broke are also being investigated.

Ramphele has been released on bail of R1 million, paid for by Agang’s few remaining financial backers. “I promise that, this time, I won’t squander party finances. This time I will actually try to build party structures and run a real campaign, and not just simply exist for the sake of existing.” Ramphele said in a written statement to the press.

Dr Ramphele could not be reached for further comment as she is currently hiding at home, sulking about all the negative publicity. However, a spokesman for Agang-SA said that Mamphela is sorry about what she’d done, and promises never to do it again, if only we’d all just forget about the incident and move along. BN

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Barend Strijdom – Law Correspondent

Barend Strijdom – Law Correspondent

While serving time and trying to fight the system from the inside, Barend learnt a thing or two about the law. He follows the law closely, from a distance, and the law follows him. Do not tell anyone that he’s out.

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