Stampede as Perth Expats Rush to Register for ANC Membership

Cyril Ramaphosa on the ANC's outback adventure.

Cyril Ramaphosa on the ANC’s outback adventure.

PERTH – Two people were hospitalised and six more treated for minor bruising after a stampede ensued when South African expatriates in Australia rushed to register for ANC membership.

The rush occurred during a fact-finding mission led by Deputy Minister Cyril Ramaphosa to investigate the possibility of establishing an ANC office in the Western Australian city of Perth.

According to Ramaphosa, there is a great need to reach out to the 145 000 South African-born Australian residents, of which a quarter are currently living in Perth. “We know people love the ANC,” he quipped. “That’s why the ANC always win the election.”

However, Ramaphosa was slightly surprised by the passion for the ANC displayed by these former South Africans. “We expected people to sign up for membership,” he said. “Unfortunately we weren’t prepared for this display of ANC fever and people got hurt. “

Injuries aside, the deputy minister is very happy with the outcome of the mission. “This completely debunks the myth that people emigrate because of ANC rule,” he remarked.

Ex-South Africans are overjoyed that the ANC is finally giving them the attention they deserve. “Sometimes we feel that the ANC is only concerned with themselves and maintaining power, sighed born and bred Sasolburger Dirk van Heerden. “But this outreach mission makes me think that the ANC might actually care about me.”

Others simply feel that they share the same principles as the party. “I immigrated to Australia looking for a better life for myself and my family,” confided former Bloemfonteiner Sakkie van Deventer. “The ANC promises a better life for all. It’s clear that we’re on the same page.”

“Moving to a new country was a major transformation in my life,” revealed Magda de Beer, originally from Polokwane. “The ANC is committed to transformation. I can totally relate to their vision.”

For some, aligning with the ANC is strictly about business. “Being associated with the ruling party opens up doors to business opportunities,” claimed engineer Dawie Viljoen. “I don’t care what they stand for, but if they need someone to build them an office block, I want that contract.”

The South African electoral system allows anyone with a valid South African passport to cast their vote at the South African embassy of the country they currently reside in. “We expect thousands of Saffers living in Perth to make the 3 700 kilometre journey across the treacherous Australian desert to the high commission in Canberra to vote ANC,” said Ramaphosa.

With ANC support back in South Africa waning a bit, the party hopes that the international vote would keep the scales tipped in their favour. “We are destined to rule forever,” Ramaphosa insisted. “But we won’t leave anything up to chance.” BN

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Salim Malik - Foreign Correspondent

Salim Malik – Foreign Correspondent

Salim Malik is not sure where he’s from. That makes him a foreigner wherever he goes. Being a foreigner is all the experience he needs to be a foreign correspondent. Salim travels the globe hunting the news and chicken vindaloo.

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One response to “Stampede as Perth Expats Rush to Register for ANC Membership

  1. To those South Africans who have left the country for a “better life” crime free! Come back and live under the rule of the ANC. Vote for them and take heed that you should then take responsibility for the demise of the country. We have stayed to make a difference. What have you done?

    Like

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