JOHANNESBURG – Thandile Sunduza, the women being ridiculed for her terrible fashion sense, has revealed that Banana Newsline, a South African satirical newspaper, is responsible for creating the much disparaged garment.
The seven month pregnant Member of Parliament has been derided endlessly for the yellow dress she wore to Jacob Zuma’s State of the Nation Address.
“I wore the dress to support South Africa’s growing interest in satirical writing,” she remarked from her hospital bed, where she’s being treated after collapsing from a severe case of mockery.
She admitted that the dress was designed specifically for her by Banana Newsline, one of the more popular outlets for satirical writing, to raise further awareness of the newspaper.
The government official claimed that it is her duty as a public servant to support writing in all it’s forms. “Yes, even the writers of satire,” she said. “Even though they mock everything we do. It is part of my duty. I’m the arts and culture portfolio committee chairperson, after all.”
According to Banana Newsline, the purpose of the stunt was to encourage people to stop focussing on real issues, and indulge in the more trite elements of the political landscape. “As South Africans we focus too much on issues like jobs and housing,” stated staff writer Boston Masilela. “We don’t spend nearly enough time worrying about what our politicians eat, what they wear, and where they bought their vacuum cleaners.”
“Our young democracy will not grow if we don’t focus more on the banal,” he continued. “We desperately needed to turn the State of the Nation Address into the State of the Nation’s Dresses.”
The newspaper is convinced that the State of the Nation Address is the perfect setting to get the ball of nihilism rolling. “We all know what the president will say,” asserted Masilela. “The real question should be “What will he wear?”
The satirical news outlet is satisfied with the success of the publicity stunt. “The whole dress was designed to fit the banana motif, which is integral to the identity of the newspaper,” rejoiced Masilela. “We are quite proud. The shape, the curves, the colour, it all came together perfectly.”
Banana Newsline also expressed delight about unwittingly completing phase two of their five point plan to create a society completely devoid of any self-worth. “Maybe it went a little too well,” laughed Masilela. “We’ve managed to turn the whole nation into judgemental dose.” BN
Miriam defied her tribal elders and got an education. She then defied her tribal elders and became a journalist. Now she defies her tribal elders by reporting on her tribal elders.
- Thandile Sunduza – the woman in yellow who got dissed at Sona (Mail & Guardian)
- SONA Yellow Dress Designer Speaks Out (Justcurious)