JOHANNESBURG – Severe flooding is causing havoc in Joburg and it doesn’t look like it will ease up anytime soon. The newly formed Economic Freedom Fighters demanded to know if the government has any plans to curb the rapid downpour.
“What is the ANC doing about all this rain?” pleaded the party’s Floyd Shivambu “It’s been raining for weeks, and I still don’t see any effort being made to do anything about it.”
The party’s commissar responsible for policy, research and political education insisted that a nation ruled by EFF will see more urgency during a time of crisis. “If the EFF were in parliament we would at least have brought the matter up for an urgent debate,” he said. “At present, nobody’s talking about what’s to be done about these storms.”
Several city residents echoed Shivambu’s sentiments. The rain must stop,” insisted Phakiso Mataitsane of Yeoville. “If this continues all of Jozi will be washed down a mineshaft.”
“Yet again the ANC is failing to deliver, sobbed Gift Moriwa of Jeppestown. “My clothes are wet. My shoes are wet. My bed is wet, and this time it’s not my fault.”
Heavy rainfall in the central, northern and eastern parts of the country caused some damage to infrastructure, disrupted transport and several residents of informal settlements needed to be relocated.
“If you vote EFF, we will give a life raft for everyone affected by flooding,” promised Shivambu. “We will also direct the gushing waters to ensure that the wealthier suburbs up the hills get flooded as much as the poorer areas down in the valleys.”
The ANC declined to comment. However, some sources revealed that the party has allocated funds to import gondolas from Venice to integrate water-borne commuting into the public transport system.
“Oh, so the ANC think they have a solution,” smirked Shivambu. “The last thing we need is a solution. What we want is solidification.” BN
Boston Masilela used to be a freedom fighter. When the battle against freedom was lost he switched his ak-47 for a yellow Bic pen and took up journalism instead. He prefers rooibos tea, enjoys a party and all his friends are politicians.