EFF Demands an End to the Rain

Flooding in Johannesburg caused some discomfort.

Flooding in Johannesburg caused some discomfort.

JOHANNESBURG – Severe flooding is causing havoc in Joburg and it doesn’t look like it will ease up anytime soon. The newly formed Economic Freedom Fighters demanded to know if the government has any plans to curb the rapid downpour.

“What is the ANC doing about all this rain?” pleaded the party’s Floyd Shivambu “It’s been raining for weeks, and I still don’t see any effort being made to do anything about it.”

The party’s commissar responsible for policy, research and political education insisted that a nation ruled by EFF will see more urgency during a time of crisis. “If the EFF were in parliament we would at least have brought the matter up for an urgent debate,” he said. “At present, nobody’s talking about what’s to be done about these storms.”

Several city residents echoed Shivambu’s sentiments. The rain must stop,” insisted Phakiso Mataitsane of Yeoville. “If this continues all of Jozi will be washed down a mineshaft.”

“Yet again the ANC is failing to deliver, sobbed Gift Moriwa of Jeppestown. “My clothes are wet. My shoes are wet. My bed is wet, and this time it’s not my fault.”

Heavy rainfall in the central, northern and eastern parts of the country caused some damage to infrastructure, disrupted transport and several residents of informal settlements needed to be relocated.

“If you vote EFF, we will give a life raft for everyone affected by flooding,” promised Shivambu. “We will also direct the gushing waters to ensure that the wealthier suburbs up the hills get flooded as much as the poorer areas down in the valleys.”

The ANC declined to comment. However, some sources revealed that the party has allocated funds to import gondolas from Venice to integrate water-borne commuting into the public transport system.

“Oh, so the ANC think they have a solution,” smirked Shivambu. “The last thing we need is a solution. What we want is solidification.” BN

 

Boston Masilela – Political Analyst

Boston Masilela – Political Analyst

Boston Masilela used to be a freedom fighter. When the battle against freedom was lost he switched his ak-47 for a yellow Bic pen and took up journalism instead. He prefers rooibos tea, enjoys a party and all his friends are politicians.

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56 responses to “EFF Demands an End to the Rain

  1. God is only showing people what HIS rain can do in 2 weeks. Imagine 40 days of waters from above and also from down under. Read the Bible..Prepare yourself He is Almighty.

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  2. Gos is only showing people what HIS rain can do in 2 weeks. Imagine 40 days of waters from above and also from down under. Read the Bible..Prepare yourself He is Almighty.

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  3. Haha! There is only one God! And I think this is his way of showing us how silly some people can be.. your ballot is a precious right, fought for and procured with suffering and sacrifice. Use it wisely!!!!

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  4. This article is so stupid, and this is not Jhb. Its Durban Musgrave… Corner of Essenwood and St Thomas Rd

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  5. EFF. / ANC / DA / everyone on eart – look to the mountains, the blue sky, the grey sky where the rain comes from ….. Then u will know that THE ONE @ ONLY LIVING GOD IN THE HEAVENS is in control…. No one else! To GOD b the Glory and PRaise AMEN

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  6. WHAT A F*CKN RETARDED ARGUMENT!! -> “If you vote EFF, we will give a life raft for everyone affected by flooding,” promised Shivambu. “We will also direct the gushing waters to ensure that the wealthier suburbs up the hills get flooded as much as the poorer areas down in the valleys.”…. It’s cool, we don’t like the ANC either, but don’t make RIDICULOUS statements.

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  7. Shame the EFF party and the leader have only grade 5 on school, can you believe they want to stop the rain, since when did they become GOD, we must start pray together for GOD to wash them all into the sea, they are pathetic. Please give te EFF party a place in the goverment, they can wash the toilets and at the same time flush away the rubbish that they busy talking

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  8. If you read between the line here, I think what they are trying to say is their beloved leader thinks he is “God” and with a wave of his ignorance wand he can solve all his problems…um your problems

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  9. …i think ANC doesn’t have control over the weather conditions,there is no point in accusing it of not controlling the rain!i suugest the EFF should send some of its followers to school for geaography or something of the sort.

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  10. Long as I remember the rain been comin’ down
    Clouds of mystery pourin’ confusion on the ground.
    Good men through the ages tryin’ to find the sun.
    And I wonder still I wonder who’ll stop the rain.

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  11. What a great laugh. And people want to vote for these idiotic people, what a joke! Surprised they not pushing for strikes because the rain won’t stop…..

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  12. Very funny article haha but the pic is from essenwood road in Durban! A manhole gave way after some well needed rain

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  13. Although the article is satirical it sounded so much like something the EFF guys would say that I had to wonder where the idea for the article came from…

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  14. “We will also direct the gushing waters to ensure that the wealthier suburbs up the hills get flooded as much as the poorer areas down in the valleys.” Floyd Shivambu said! Eish but you are stupid! Water does not flow uphill, you’ll need pumps to get the water up the hills!

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  15. I think that it is horrid how it is being exploited…. This photo was taken in 2011…. What has that event have to do with the floods were are experiencing now… Its called misleading people… And according to the CPA- FAKE advertising.

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  16. I agree, Its high time the ANC stopped the rain and concentrated on putting the water in the pipes. They do nothing but putting up posters now. Come on Zuboo do your job and stop irritating the EFF!

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  17. you all the same if you win you wil dowhat the ANC is doing,so better leav the it is than spme one to take over and start afresh…..

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  18. The level of stupidity in these comments is astounding, the idiots who don’t get that this article is a joke should go join EFF, infact no ur more stupid than that… lmao

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  19. Gosh with Majority of these responses I can see why the ANC is in power and why only other ïdiotic” parties are our only other choices.

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  20. South Africa sits with a bunch of baboons in parliament. They are such a joke to the whole world. I am not a proud SA anymore!

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  21. Boston Masilela nice try, bad journalism, even if it was tongue in cheek. Would never have put my name to this type of work. I am afraid to say this type of journalism can course a lot of problems.

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  22. What freaking morons, bright as day that our country def has one of the lowest iq’s in the world with most of the idiots it seems either being government or the absurd EFF party.

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  23. South Africa is a joke! we have a bunch of uneducated morons in power and it will continue to get worse. i hope some one comes from left field and scoops power away from the 3 main parties.(EFF,ANC & DA) all we want in this country is to be happy, make our lives and our family and friends better and to uplift poverty. Read a book called “the venus project” by jacques Fresco. and tell me that building a better future is not able to happen in the here and now. we need our politicians to stop screwing all of us over, and to band together for a better South Africa. its 20 years on, and still we have not yet reached our goal of a free and educated africa that Madiba wanted of our great land.

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  24. WHF must the ANC do about the rain ONLY GOD can do anything about it search for something realistic to fight about but please EFF anD ANC kills each other before the rain destoys Us all

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