German Invasion of Brazil Start of World War 3

Brazilians in pain after the brutal German attack in Belo Horizonte.

Brazilians in pain after the brutal German attack in Belo Horizonte.

BELO HORIZONTE – Following the German decimation of Brazil, its people, its hopes and aspirations, the Brazilian government formally announced its intention to retaliate by any and [nearly] all means possible. The announcement sent mild sparks of fear throughout the diplomatic community.

“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills, but we won’t fight them on the football pitch,” declared Brazilian president Dilma Rousseff in a tear-filled press conference.

In the afternoon hours of Tuesday, 11 July, German forces rendezvoused at a football stadium in Belo Horizonte, the capital of the State of Minas Gerais in Brazil. After declaring its intention to become the champions of the world, the Germans proceeded to systematically annihilate their South American enemies.

Germanic vorsprung durch technik shone through from the onset of the skirmish, and in the space of 30 minutes they precision engineered an assault so devastating that it completely shattered the Brazilian nation physically, spiritually and space-dimensionally.

Despite sporadic acts of heroism, the Brazilians simply could not recover from the severity of the initial onslaught, and the Europeans continued to display their superiority.

The Germans, steadfastly fuelled by the philosophy that arbeit macht frei, kept on working hard, pounding the Brazilian defensive line, single-mindedly chipping away at the Samba Kings’ resolve.

The relentless blitzkrieg absolutely shattered the morale of the 200 million people-sized nation. Within a mere 90 minutes, Germany left Brazil so unsatisfyingly ravished that the country was forced to admit a humiliating defeat.

Not since the glory days of the holocaust has Germany been able to break the spirit of a people so swiftly and so severely. “I feel like I’m incarcerated at Auschwitch,” cried Jorge Camparo, eyewitness on the scene of the assault.

German nationalists are ecstatic over the advancement their side made in Brazil. “Deutschland über alles,” they shouted as they jubilantly took to the streets. BN


Raoul Duke – Sports Writer

Raoul Duke – Sports Writer

Like all good sportsmen, Raoul was born in the Free State before being offered more money to move to Gauteng. He has such a keen knowledge of the games that he doesn’t need to watch it to know what’s going on. When he’s not following athletes around, Raoul can be found on his farm near Bronkhorstspruit, drinking whiskey and shooting his gun.


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