Jacob Zuma Lied About His Standard 4

Jacob Zuma explains how a vacuum can exist within a contained space.

Jacob Zuma explains how a vacuum can exist within a contained space.

NKANDLA – Allegations have been made against South African President Jacob Zuma, accusing him that he lied about receiving an informal education from a lady with a Standard 4 (now known as Grade 6) qualification. New evidence allegedly proves that the woman who taught him to read and write only passed Standard 3.

These allegations follow a spate of qualification scandals involving top ANC officials. Hlaudi Motsoeneng was controversially promoted to COO at the SABC even though he lied about graduating from high school. Further investigation revealed that SABC Chairperson Ellen Tshabalala also lied about her degrees from UNISA.

Dr Pallo Jordan resigned from parliament after it emerged that he is as much a doctor as Doctor Khumalo. Turns out the good doctor doesn’t have a PhD after all. It just so happens that the title was mistakenly given to him in a news paper article after he was nearly killed by a letter bomb while in exile, and it just kind of stuck.

Unlike Dr Jordan, however, Jacob Zuma has no plans to resign. “A matric is not everything. What you need is experience,” maintains Hlaudi Motsoeneng, a staunch Zuma supporter. “And I am very experienced at making political connections to help me to the top.”

It’s a sentiment with which Zuma wholly agrees. “I’ve had plenty of experience hovering around presidents before I became president,” he confirmed. “That’s how I knew I was the right man for the job.”

Zuma also had lots of experience dealing with corruption scandals before becoming president, so he is well equipped to deal with corruption scandals as a president. “Corruption come part and parcel with the position,” he elaborated. “If you haven’t been corrupt before you became president, they will throw you to the lions.”

EFF Commander-in-chief Julius Malema was so outraged by the allegations that he stormed out of parliament. “Zuma must go,” he demanded. “This is unacceptable. We can’t have a president with a dismal education background.”

The DA criticised Zuma, claiming that they have seen no evidence that he possesses the necessary leadership skills to run a country. “We demand to see your leadership skills,” insisted party leader Helen Zille. “Hand it over, or we will go to court to make you hand it over.”

Zuma, however, remains firm that he is perfect for the position of president. “You don’t need leadership skills to be president,” he replied. “You need leadership skills to be a leader. To be president, you just need to be present.”

The ANC plans to launch a commission to investigate the qualifications of all government officials. However, it says Zuma will be excluded from the enquiry. “There is no reason to investigate President Zuma,” maintained presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj. “The fact that Zuma is not qualified for the job is already public knowledge.” BN

Radebe G. Radebe – Political Analyst

Radebe G. Radebe – Political Analyst

Radebe understands that you really need to look politics from all sides, weigh up all options and come to terms with what politics is before you can write about politics. This takes time and resources, and he never makes a deadline. Still, his ill-conceived articles are better than it would have been if he rushed it to meet demands. Even if we can never print it, because it’s too late.

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18 responses to “Jacob Zuma Lied About His Standard 4

  1. Guyz how many white people that they are in top position but they dont even have metric.how many whites people in the private sectors who occupy the top position with no qualifications.is this a first thing to you.i dont have a business management qualifications but i can run my business acurate.so how many time that always a black people critisise one another for unreasonable things?cant you see we are a loughing stock to ather nations.no one is perfect so stop pretending as a goof person.usathane udlala ngani ngampela.just look at yourself on the mirrow and ask yourself about your life and love yourself.

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  2. What did he “unduly benefit” by his lies c’mon journalists don’t u have better stories to write this is becoming do boring, Jacob Zuma this, Jacob Zuma that!

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  3. A disgrace. He should have got the maximum term. There’s a girl dead, a family grieving and all he gets is a nominal 5 years. I hope his punishment will come afterwards. Would any woman with any sense have anything to do with him now? Will people in the field of athletics really fall over themselves to forgive him? I do hope http://tinyurl.com/m672dlv

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  4. One doesn’t need education or.experience in our current political climate. All that is needed.is a thick skin and a big mouth and enough people to buy into the bull that come out of that mouth….

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  5. Oh my gosh, people, it’s a joke! Get a sense of humour. BRILLIANT, RADEBE. I must, however, agree with Zuma. Hanging around Presidents does make one a great President. Viva Std 4

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  6. What’s the difference between STD 3 and STD 4 kodwa? I have 3 degrees n fail to comprehend the difference. Zuma is just clever to have come out of a teacher who had STD 3. He speaks better English than people who have matric. There is no story here shame…..

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  7. lol,,,,very interesting & very unchangeable, I luv my president, educated or not, I luv my president finish & klar, you must honour him with matric if you are not happy about the fact that he doesn’t have one, he has done beyond matric,,,,

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  8. I have an LLB and wondering what the writer of the article has. We are fine with President Zuma and we understand why his background is like that. People must learn to start respecting him. Hands off our President

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  9. I just like Julius Malema… Hahaha @EFF Commander-in-chief Julius Malema who was so
    outraged by the allegations that he stormed out of
    parliament. “Zuma must go,” he demanded. “This is
    unacceptable. We can’t have a president with a
    dismal education background.” #Real_man_Speaks_loud

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  10. “A matric is not everything. What you need is experience,” maintains Hlaudi Motsoeneng, a staunch Zuma supporter…

    So will mr Hlaudi Motsoeneng give me a job seeing as I don’t have a matric? I have 7+ years experience developing software… or am I too white for this to apply?

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    • So what exactly are u implying “mr white?” Are u trying to say that it’s only black people that get jobs without qualifications? Please if you dnt have anything to say, just keep your mouth shut and how did you even become a software developed without matric?

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    • You’re not too white if you look in the right places; like corporate SA where white guys gain experience by osmosis, while blacks, no matter how educated and experienced, are only ever hired on race

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