KATHU – The beleaguered South African utility company, Eskom, has scrapped plans to construct the proposed Kalahari Solar Power Plant near Kathu in the Northern Cape.
The parastatal placed the blame for the abrupt cancelation of this potentially energetic enterprise squarely on the sun, the giant heavenly body that forms the centre of our solar system and is a major source of light during the daytime. “The sun is too damn hot,” explained Eskom CEO Tshediso Motana. “The solar panels will melt like a Dairymaid ice cream on a Durban beach in December.”
Eskom’s reputation has already taken a severe knock due to the recent power shortage caused by several collapses at power stations across the country, and the utility company is unlikely to risk building anything else that could fall to pieces. “With all the meltdowns we’ve recently had, our reputation won’t handle a solar meltdown,” said Motana.
“The construction of the new Medupi and Kusile power stations are taking very long,” he continued. “We’re afraid that the construction of the Kalahari Solar Power Plant will take even longer. It’s too damn hot, and workers can’t even lift their arms for fear of death by perspiration.”
Furthermore, Eskom fears that terrain difficulty may also prove to be a potential obstacle. “It’s so damn hot, the sand keeps shifting to try find a spot in the shade.”
Apartheid caused load shedding
President Jacob Zuma recently blamed Apartheid for all the troubles that are plaguing Eskom. The ailing power supplier has been struggling with an electricity shortfall and the persistence of load shedding due to poor maintenance of the power grid.
“The current government can’t maintain power plants and keep them from falling apart or successfully run a power company because many years ago the Apartheid regime only supplied electricity to white people,” he said.
The president also made excuses for the slow construction of the Medupi and Kusile power plants. On completion, the new plants should alleviate much of the country’s electricity problems.
“This government conceived the idea of building new power plants, it organised the construction, provided the funding, and it’s overseeing the whole construction process,” Zuma explained, “but the reason the construction is way over the deadline is because many years ago, the Apartheid government only provided electricity to white people.”
The president also blamed Apartheid for the current government’s slow response in dealing with the crisis.
“It is Apartheid’s fault that we have an electricity crisis, because if the Apartheid regime built more than enough power infrastructure for the new democratic government to inherit, nobody would’ve noticed that the we are too incompetent to maintain it and keep up with expansion.”
According to Zuma, the current government cannot be held responsible for the electricity crisis. “How were we supposed to know that if you expand the electricity grid to serve more people, you need to expand the supply capacity as well?” he asked. “Apartheid never told us.” BN
Manie enjoyed the privilege of Apartheid rule and never bothered to get a proper education. The regime change left him unskilled, unemployed and broke, so he settled for being a reporter. Now he’s only unskilled and broke.