Affies School Boys Join Hair Protest

PRETORIA – Students at the Afrikaans Hoër Seunskool (Afrikaans Boys High School) joined the protest against hair regulations at schools. This is following the protest at nearby Pretoria Girls High about discrimination against African hair styles that had education authorities tearing their hair out over the last couple of days.

The bad hair day happened as learners congregated in front of the predominantly white, Afrikaans language school’s main gate and blocked access to the premises, demanding that their hairy qualms be heard.

The boys are outraged by the school’s hair policy, which seeks to ban all outrages hair styles, and claim that the school’s hair regulations discriminates against modern Western hair.

“The school’s hair policy stems from a time before the birth of Justin Bieber,” complained Bart Nel, a grade 11 pupil at Affies. “We live in the new, post-Bieber South Africa. We feel we are being oppressed.”

The boys told shocking stories about the humiliation they suffered when their hair were tested to make sure it fits in with the draconian regulations.

“Teachers would put their hands on the back of our necks,” cried Sias Reneke, in grade 8. “If they can’t fit four fingers between our collar and the hairline, we would be issued a long hair warning.”

Educators also allegedly often insult learners who don’t comply with their antiquated rules. “A teacher once told me I should comb my hair, and that I look like a mattress explosion,” sulked grade 10 student Japie Adam.

“One of the teachers claimed that my spiky hair could poke out his eye,” added Ernie Ellis. “It’s ridiculous. My spikes will bend.”

Students also told how they would use hair gel to keep their hair from falling into their eyes.

Modern Western hair styles, like the Mop Top, Messy Top, High Top and the Flamed-up Top are all outlawed by the school. The Mohawk, Faux-hawk, and the Spiky Do are also not permitted.

Gauteng MEC for education, Panyaza Lesufi, vowed that the department will look into the matter. “When it comes to hair it can be messy,” she said. “It won’t always be cut and dried.”

Here are some examples of illegal hair styles:

This is Justin Bieber with a Mop Top.

This is Justin Bieber with a Mohawk.

This is Justin Bieber with spiky hair.

This is Justin Bieber with a faux-hawk.

This is Justin Bieber with the messy hair style.

This is Justin Bieber with a wavy pomp.

This is Justin Bieber with an emo cut.

This is Justin Bieber with dreadlocks.

This is Justin Bieber with some kind of hair “style”.

This is Donald Trump with the Wet Bieber. (Err, you mean wet beaver – Ed) BN

Manie Vokkens – Current Affairs

Manie enjoyed the privilege of Apartheid rule and never bothered to get a proper education. The regime change left him unskilled, unemployed and broke, so he settled for being a reporter. Now he’s only unskilled and broke.